No Means No, Man--No Means No

Okay, so I've been living in the past on these new entries, but I want to get them down before they get lost in brain cells that I know are gonna die from alcohol intake...

We're moving back in time, to that Diner I used to work at, where my character was Chip the Cheerless Cheerleader...

To earn extra money, and make the experience of dining more enjoyable to our patrons, I always used to interact with the server in the section next to me. On one particular night, I worked with a guy named Chet. His character was the "BMOC" (Big Man On Campus). He had to been about 6'4'' and 235 (at least) and was blondish (typical americana type), and he thought he was the funniest/wittiest guy in the restaurant. We used to always have contests to see who would retain the title...

(A Little Background)
The social climate at the time was charged with all of the date rapes that were occuring on college campuses across the country. The most notable being the rape at Antioch where the buzz line "no-means no" was born from and was being chanted over every stream of media. Continuing story...

That night, Chet and I had bantered back and forth, much to the entertainment of our "guests" that we served artery hardening foodstuffs to as a meal. I can't remember what I had verbally stung him with, but before I knew it, he was behind me and grabbed me (both of us facing the same direction).

He pinned my arms to my side as he squeezed me in a bear hug that I couldn't have broken if I tried (which I did). He was thrashing back and forth, and I could feel my face reddening as EVERYONE in the restaurant turned to see what was going on with us "zany" servers (ooh, I'm sorry "Entertainers Extraordinaire"). As Chet was rocking back and forth he was yelling, "Oh yeah, Chip..How do you like that, huh? You're not the funny guy now are you? Are you? Huh?"

My face became a burning shade of scarlet (Hey, I knew how this was looking, and we weren't even in prison). I had to find a way out of the situation. His brute strength was immasculating me, so I turned to the only thing I could do, as the patrons of the diner were pointing and laughing at my situation and as Chet was continuing to ask me how I liked it...

I took a deep breath...and at the top of my lungs...I screamed, while he was still thrashing me like a rag doll:

NO MEANS NO, CHET!
NO...(whimpering)
MEANS... (sobbing a little)
NO... (whimpering again)

The entire restaurant erupted into laughter and clapping.

Chet dropped me, his face reddening more than mine ever could, and said, "You win forever man. You win forever."

That was just one of the nights I had in that place. I think it was my favorite job ever; you got paid for being kinda rude (okay, with my character...really rude).

Let me know if you want more funny diner stories, Kids...

DM