Love Lost or Grow a Set, Deutschmarc

So I went down to a little city where a friend of mine lives (he was in the rolling down the river post), for the weekend to get away from any embarassing antics in my home town.

We went out to dinner at a sushi place after dropping off my taxes (last day of course, who wants to get audited?). We ate so much sushi, because we had to get our money's worth, then dashed (like two horses foundering) to his place to get ready.

I shimmied into a tight shirt, and was miserable from all of the food we ate (but we had to go out--new town--new boys).

We stop off at one bar that was so boring that we almost fell asleep, until I noticed the volleyball court with grass instead of sand. I tell my friend that I've never seen a volleyball court with a grass turf, and he told me that's because it's not a volleyball court; it's a badminton court!

My eyes lit up with joyfull glee, with the thought of both of us with rackets in hand playing badminton. He immediately noticed my grin of exuberance and shot down the idea before I could even sputter it out. There would be no, "Good shot Chap... That slice was top drawer ... Did I tell you Buffy is coming down from the Hamptons next weekend?" in a nasally drawl that the nouveax riche are known for when they play Old Money.

He saw that I was bummed and countered with, "Next time you come down...We'll dress for the occasion." I smiled, thinking that I would need to go shopping for sensible, white pleated shorts, matching white Keds, and a v-neck, long sleeve, light, cable-knit sweater (with the dress shirt tails peeking from under the sweater). I would need a visor to keep the sun from blinding me-- Oh, and socks that get scrunched down (a la the 80's). I turned to him with the image I painted emblazened on my mind and said, "Next time...Definitely."

We motored to another bar that I was well acquainted with from days of yore (or should I say... Days of Whore--hehehe). We get to the bar and spot someone I know from the town I live in... The weird thing is that I always see my hometown friend when I'm in the po-dunk, college town. It is kinda strange (although I've only been down twice recently) to run into him on the off chance of being down there and being at the same place, at the same time.

So we were all hanging out, and let me tell you...I may be a little jaded when it comes to guys in my hometown, because there were a ton of hotties to be looked at in collegeville. I was in heaven...an all you can eat boy-fett. As some of you well know, I have not been partying like I used to...Max--3 drinks a night (at least 6 hours of going out), so I was not in flirty mode. I just looked at all of these guys that I had the hots for and drooled (mentally, of course).

One of my friends pointed out that one of the guys I was checking out was "unclean"... I said, "Unclean as in 'a big dirty whore'...or unclean in that I'll have a burning sensation down below, and a scorching case of crabs?" She replied, "Both and from what I've heard...he's so loose that he's a wind tunnel..." YEeeouch...I thought I could come up with the nastiest analogies.

After that is when I saw him...
Call him Neo...
Call him Jet Li...
Because he was "The One"...

He was about 6'1'', light brown hair, twinkling eyes (couldn't see the color--too far away), sideburns, a rocked out bod, and devilishly charming, perfect grin. If Billy Zane and Morrissey had a baby...It would be my new hotty...

I went dumb...couldn't think. He was too...damned...goodlooking. His red-ringer hugged his biceps and chest flawlessly, and I knew then that I was infatuated with the future ex-mr. deutschmarc (okay, wishful thinking).

My friends noticed my utter bedazzlement as I gazed at Mega Hotty 2005, and asked me who I was checking out. I pointed subtly (behind my hand) and whispered what he was wearing. It couldn't have been orchestrated better...they all turned... at the same time, zeroing in on MH05 in complete synchronicity, and as in usual deutschmarc luck...He was looking our way...BUSTED

I looked at my friends, and looked at the guy (who of course was looking at me, because all of my friends were nodding their heads and whispering to me that he was hot--DUH) and just shook my head with a resigned grin that bespoke of how I wanted to kill all of my friends for being that obvious.

He kinda smiled at me and turned to his friend, who turned to look at me, as MH05 looked down and chastised his friend for being obvious.

THIS WAS LIKE THE WORST EPISODE OF SWEET VALLEY HIGH OR SAVED BY THE BELL...EVER.

The friend that told me about "wind tunnel whore" said that I should go up and talk to him.

No way...

I tried to catch eye contact again, but couldn't because the place was busy. I went to the bar to get another bottle of water (which made me even more miserable--I think that it puffed the rice from the sushi up more). He was to my left, and he didn't look to want to make eye contact, so neither did I..

I needed to grow a set...think I still do...

Anyway, we left the bar, me with thoughts of MH2005 seared into my mind, knowing that I would be coming down to this college town again in the near future.

Must...Find......Mega...Hotty....2005......again.

Wish me luck on the hunt!

deutschmarc