Enjoying the Festivities-I'm on the Skins Team and Seth Goes for the Gold

Hopefully this blog is working for posts...I was having issues recently...

Okay, so Saturday rolled around, and I was still not in the mood to go to the parade. Seth left early to a Pre-Parade Party (PPP), and I decided that I would definitely not be going. I was still nursing my pride...and my ego from earlier in the morning.

I was also annoyed because I had to play chauffeur to my mom, who needed some running around done until 3:30 (which, if I went, was when I wanted to arrive at the Pride Festivities). Of course I sucked it up and drove Miss Daisy about town, getting home around 4:00.

I was ready before you could say, "Jack be nimble" but Robbie was not, and Seth was in process of getting ready. Time was ticking...I had made calls and all of my other associates were already half-crocked...Must...get...to...Pride...

Robbie finally gets over around 5:20, and we all decide to take the bus up so we wouldn't have to worry about parking. We gorged ourselves on Go-Juice and Stackers (energy pills-more like herbal speed).

We get to Pride after the longest walk known to man (ever heard of moving walkways...a tram...shuttles), and we arrive on site.

We ran into friends...
Did a little shopping...
Ran into more people...
Bought beer tickets (32 ounces for 5 bucks...can't go wrong there)...
Proceeded to get lit up like the 4th of July...

After 3 Mongo Beers...I am feeling no shame, and decided that it was really hot and I should be like the rest of the guys around...SHIRTLESS

So I rip off my shirt (tucking it perfectly in the back of my jeans), and proceed to walk around with the confidence only alcohol could provide. I must have looked okay because people were checking out my stuff left and right...I decided then that I would be shirtless wherever we went for the rest of the evening (Hi drunk---hey that's me).

So, Robbie and I are pretty wasted, but Seth had only had one beer, when we happen upon a booth selling pyrex sex toys, where we happen to overhear that if you can deep throat the ones that are 7 inches or above--you get it for FREE.

Now Seth's nickname is Linda...as in Linda Lovelace from Deep Throat. He says that he can go down on the bigguns without a flicker of an eyelash, and he was standing at the booth that gives stuff for FREE if you can swallow them. He turns to me and says, "No problem." I, in my drunken exuberance, goaded him, pled with him, and finally cajoled him into taking a shot (once the people he knew left the vacinity).

He picked the bullet like model, that had sparkly (my favorite color), pink liquid in it, and finally got it down his throat (after only two tries). Robbie and I were yelling and cheering the entire time as Seth put his newly attained friend in his goodie bag. Seth then grabbed his throat and stated that it hurt, because pyrex doesn't give like human flesh. Hey, at least he could put it in the freezer and on the stove!

We peruse the booths, where I see a classically, good looking guy working the booth where you stick a pin on a map of the city (showing where all the 'mos are located). He had that longish dark hair that was smoothed back a la the 20's. I thought he was sexy-friends didn't think so...

We strike up a conversation, as his eyes wandered over my bare flesh, and I flirted a little (okay- a lot...guess I was over Dart Hotty-Hi, we only went out on 3 dates-which made the flashback of the previous night even worse---DRUNK DIALING THE EX---ouch). I couldn't decide whether to give him my digits or flirt with him more (chose the latter). We smiled at each other through short sentences...I had nicknamed him "maroon guy" for the short sleeve pique polo he had on.

Meanwhile, my friends tempted me with the only thing that could pry me away from a bodybuilding, Versace model...alcohol. I left maroon guy to get rocktailed further...

Our little party in tow...we run into another guy...I'll call him "Southern Drawl", and he was cute, a little too thin for me, but he had just bought about 15 drink tickets, offering to get me a drink as he looked at my chest (the boys). I say abso-smurfly, and we all beeline it to the vodka booth...I was getting tired of beer...bloating (hello, shirt off, remember).

The vodka booth had run out of liquid refreshment (bastards-talk about poor planning). With no drinks, southern drawl guy was left in the dust...we all had to use the cans (Port-o-Lets), so we went to "blue way", where all of the crappers were in a row. I used the "facilities" and washed my hands (total turn-off when I see a guy just use the john and not wash up), and waited for my friends. I lit up a smoke, as my friends were relieving themselves, when a cute guy in a hat came up, begging for a smoke. My peeps, who were finished come over to me during the exchange, just as I said, "Sure you can have a smoke, but you have to do a trick for it."

Which he did, nearly breaking his drunk neck doing a forward handspring downhill. I give him a smoke after clapping, and a brief introduction, forgetting his name as soon as it hit my ears (I mentally called him "hat guy" for the rest of our adventures. We then hear Crystal Waters performing and run to the stage. Hat Guy and I get it into our drunk, machismo heads to rush the stage, and just as we are trying to find an opening through the gays and security, I notice that Crystal was lipsinging her songs. She wasn't worthy of a stage rush, so we all just hung out until it was time to take off.

We said goodbye to hat guy, I gave one last lingering look at maroon guy, and we moved towards the entrance. Seth and I caught a ride with Lana and Bryce (Robbie left early...he was plowed), and we all went to our place for a quick costume change and replenishment, before painting the town (me shirtless of course...).

More to come...
And trust me, there's more stories from that lovely Saturday night.
I hope I run into maroon guy again.

deutschmarc