Hey, I Know You--That'll be 5 Long Islands

A friend of mine, Stef, reminded me that I needed to get this story down.

It starts in the crappy town of Alburquerque, where I was visiting a friend, Mario, who was in the Air Force. I was working at that 50's diner I have told you all about in previous posts... What I didn't tell you was my character: Chip the Cheerless Cheerleader. My snide sense of humor and constant hangovers earned me mega bucks and the adoration of many patrons (who got my sometimes crass banter). So there I was, in a new town, with endless possibilities. I wanted to get drunk and flirt my ass off, and maybe get a little action. With this in mind, let the story begin...

Mario and I were all set to go out on the town at 8 PM, which was really early in New Mexico time (I have to be honest...I could drink a helluva lot more then, so we went out early so I could be buzzed when the late comers started getting buzzed).

As we headed to the bar, I decide to make a complete bravado bet...

"Hey Mario, five long islands says that I know someone at this bar."
Mario looked at the clock on the dashboard as he drove, knowing that the bar would be dead and said, "You're on...you need to stop for cash?"
"Funny guy...I won't need it."

We get to the bar called The Pulse, and I noticed 3 cars in the parking lot. We rushed in only to find 2 other people in the bar. I looked them over...CRAP----Didn't know any of them.

Mario laughed as I busted out my wallet and headed to the bartender, who was washing glasses (with his head down). I made that little "ahem" noise to get his attention, annoyed at the fact that I would have to put out for 5 long islands. I turned to Mario as the bartender looked up, and asked him if he wanted the first of his long islands. Mario said "hell yeah" to my question, as I turned to face the bartender, really looking at him for the first time...

"Well hello there handsome, what brings you to this part of the world," the bartender asked?
"Well JR, I think 5 long islands did," I said as I turned to Mario, who's jaw had hit the floor and head was shaking in disbelief. "So JR what are you doing in Alburquerque?"
"Taking a break from _______, you know how it is. What are you doing here?"
"Visiting a friend," I said pointing a thumb at Mario, "who now owes me 5 long islands."

Mario and I nabbed our drinks (after he paid---HA) and hung out at a table until a couple of his friends arrived. One of them was really cool...the other sucked ass (and not in a good way).

Mario's hateful friend, LT (short for Little Troll--he was in the marines, short, ugly, and unthinkably pretentious) was one of those guys who thought he was a 10 and was realistically a 4. We did not get along at all, and after about 5 of his snide comments, I turned to Mario and said, "This little bitch is lucky he's your friend or I'd tear him apart."
Mario, loving a good bitchfest replied, "He's not that close of a friend. More of a mongrel that just follows us around." I smiled...He smiled. GAME ON

The club was getting really busy, and the male go-go dancers (who were straight--and off the military base, earning extra money) were shaking their scantily clad money makers. One of the dancers was a stunner, and LT had been hot for him for a long time. Much to my evil enjoyment, the dark gift was working something fierce that night, and the dancer came over to me and started to chat me up. LT looked like he was going to shit a buick.

I went to the bar to get more drinks with Mario...LT in tow (unfortunately--fortunately as you see what happens next). JR saw me and said, "There you are Deutschmarc. I thought you left without saying goodbye. Next rounds on me." ROCK ON...I was rocktailing it like the big dogs, and I was the beau of the ball. This made LT hate me even more, and I basked in it, as Mario chuckled behind his hand. Apparently LT had made advances on JR, who blew him off completely AND which made it worse when JR bought Mario and my drink but not his (hahahaha).

We finished up our drinks and went to the dance floor to rock it up a bit. Go-Go Boy immediately started dancing by me, then with me, asking me if I was a model in LT's earshot (HA). I said of course I was and was enjoying all that the city had to offer, especially the dance partner. I pulled out a 5 for a tip (hey the boy's gotta make his rent, right?), which he quickly pushed away after saying, "I should be paying you for the dance." (NO...REALLY...I should pay you 20 for making that comment in front of LT--HA-HA).

We sat back at our table after dancing, me with a huge grin on my face; LT sporting the scowl of all scowls. LT turned to me and said, in front of everyone, "You think you're hot shit don't you?"
"You know what LT...I have tried to be nice to you, since you're friends with my friend, but let me tell you, if my getting hit on by 2 guys who wouldn't give you the time of day because of your hideaous demeanor, makes me hot shit in your eyes...I guess I'm hot shit." I then turned to the other guys...
"Guys, does that make me hot shit?"
Mario, "Definitely hot shit."
Keith, "OOooh, I would say...hot shit."
"I thought so...guess we're all in agreement...even you LT...I'm hot shit, and I feel like dancing."

Mario's cool friend, Keith, and I hit the dance floor with a vengeance, while LT talked about me to Mario with daggers shooting from his eyes. After awhile, LT and Mario joined us on the dance floor. We were tearing it up when I heard this yell, "CHIiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiip!"

I turn around to see the 6 hot gay guys that I had waited on the week before in my hometown. I yell, "Shut the fuck up you guys! (so Brooklyn--I know) How's it going? What are you doing here?"
"We're passing through on vacation," come party with us.

LT'S BRAIN WAS GOING TO EXPLODE-- if he would have been Stephen King's Carrie--I would have been so dead...

So then I'm on the dance floor, grinding with 6 hot guys that all became my buds after waiting on them. Before I knew it, rounds of drinks were bought for me and Mario (because anyone cool enough to hang out with the Chipster deserved a drink). I made introductions, of course skipping over LT, and we proceeded to get hammered with the boys.

LT turned to Mario and said, not unloudly, "What the fuck, did he fly in his own entourage."

Mario replied, "Nope, that's deutschmarc, and if you weren't such a dick, you would be having the time of your life and meeting all of his really cool friends. I'm going to dance. Hey guys, let's hit the floor."

The rest of the night was spent drinking, dancing and laughing our asses off...as we rocktailed it in New Mexico...

One of the best times I've had...and it started with a bet.

deutschmarc