The Morning After Mardi Gras or Hey Can I Flirt With Your Date??

Okay, so I had to peddle jello shots last night, so I dressed in my best sales gear i.e. tight pair of dark low rise jeans, micro briefs, a kinda meshy t-shirt in olive green (to make my eyes really dazzle potential customers), and the ole Gucci belt. The shirt was so tight that I didn't breathe for most of the night for fear that my stomach would pooch out a bit. Needless to say, sold all the shots...

Flirted with a Daddy Bear type shamelessly, so much so that his dart teammates told him that he needed to be good because he is in a relationship. We gave each other a big hug after the games. "I could smell the roadhouse whiskey on his breath...and I liked it.......I liked it." (Carrie reference)

Anyway, flirted with another really cute guy. Too bad he was on a date with an acquaintance of mine---Whooooooops...my bad.

Then, 23 stumbles into the bar...and 46 (my ex) showed up...HELLO awkward!!! 23 looked me up and down and whispered in my ear, "Tomorrow. My place. 8 o'clock. Your donkey (okay he used the other word) is mine." Schaaawing (bringing it back...Party on) Woof! 23 has some cajones on him. I smiled, lifted my tray, looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Maybe." Then I turned and walked away, looking back, and catching him checking out my posterior (had to use that word).

So I stumble home..after 46 buys me a cocktail (Stoli Blueberry Rocks----that's how I roll). Don't think I finished it.

Made a couple of tuna sandwhiches (no idea at what time. Do know that I only ate half of one and put the rest in the fridge). Then I had to put the chili on for tonights dinner....mmmm chili....lots of cheese....mmmm. I love slow cookers.

So that was my night in a nutshell.

46 left a message to go out to dinner or hang out sometime. Just texted him back. Really not in the mood to talk to anyone today. Really crusty around the edges.

Didn't even flirt with cute HP guy today. Sad thing is that I don't think that I'm up for a session with 23 tonight....way too hungover.

OOOhhh...my future ex husband that works at Charlie's was all dolled up in Fat Tuesday attire. Flirted with me and wanted me to go over to Chuck's with him, but I definitely needed to get home. Hope to see him soon...such a little hottie.

Hope y'all had a great Mardi Gras!

P.S. Remember to flirt responsibly...(yeah right).

Best Wishes and Kisses,

DM

"The Office" Party or Hey is That Tequila in a Baby Food Jar?

So my photographer friend, Samantha, invited me to her place (which is really far away--OK and I hate driving, especially in rush hour), for a party honoring the show "The Office".

I was reluctant to go, but felt that I needed to show more support for my friend who moved to the Boonies (which I will never forgive her for doing--love ya kid). So stayed at work late on a Friday to miss rush hour to get to my friend's house in some kind of easy commute. WRONG--- traffic was still hideous when I left to make the long distance journey (around 45 miles...ick).

I map quested the drive (big mistake...ended up on some 2 lane road...what city has 2 lane roads...it was like I was in The Shining or something. All I needed was wispy, white snow flakes to be gently wiped from my car windows). So I made my way through the urban country, with its lack of streetlights and horrible signage, and amazingly, I was the first to arrive.

Samantha, a mother of an adorable little girl, was in a frazzle as she was running late. She was making chicken enchiladas and was slowly working herself into a freak out. I had to step up and help out. She grabbed a beer and offered me one, which I of course, took gratefully. Then she offered me a shot of tequila and triple sec. Me, not being able to turn down a shot, said, "Hell Yeah."

She reached into the fridge to pull out the chilled shots, which were in....






Wait for it.....






Wait for it......





Almost here......



in BABY FOOD jars. Serious here folks...baby.food.jars. I started laughing, popped the lids, combined the alcohol in one baby food jar, and did the shot without even tearing up. I turned to her and said, "Damn...wish they had that kind of baby food when I was a kid."

The rest of the night was really nice, meeting people, talking to Samantha's sister (who got her ass felt up by yours truly--accidentally of course), and eating a great meal. Oh..there was also The Office TV game we played, which was okay if I ever watched the show.

Moral of the Post: As we all get older and settle into more placid lives, it's still important to remember that we all can use a little baby food every now and then.

Well, I have darts tonight, so a story may come out of it or not...we'll see.

All My Love,

DM

WOW...Can't Believe It's Been So Long or It's So Hard To Say Bubye

OK OK OK OK OK...I know already. It's been forever and a day since I blogged.

So...here is what is going on. My mom is in remission. I am working at a large corporate entity and I deal with S.A.P.s (Stupid Ass Person) for most of my day. I have been through a relationship that ended pretty nastily, and I am not really following what I have really been wanting to do.

On the plus side...I get to take my sexual tension out on 23...the nick I've given the twenty-three year old who I've been booty-calling it with. Ironically, he's exactly half the age of my ex.

I am still on the dart league, but have become quite enamoured with World of Warcraft, making me a true Gaymer.

I haven't been going out a lot, but there is a dart benefit this weekend that I plan on schlepping "yummy" jello shots to people who will most likely be oogling my goodies for charity. Sad thing is that my mom wants to go to get out of the house. I can appreciate that and everything, but Poppa wants to get his drink on since the bar is stumbling distance from my house (LITERALLY).

As it stands, I have to pick her up and drop her off, sell shots and NOT drink.... This is hell on Earth. Hopefully she will be on her best behavoir and not tell everyone around her about each tiny medical issue she is going through. Thank God for gay back up. At least my peeps will be there.

So I really don't know what you want me to write...life has been pretty unexciting...although dating was fun for a bit.

I was reading through some of my old posts and thought, "Wow, I used to get in a bunch of trouble." Not so much anymore...kinda boring.

Seth is dating someone right now, which is awesome..OOOOOOOOOOooooh...thought process. Have a fun story for my next post.