When it Rains it Pours - or Get Out I'm Tired

Greetings Everyone,

So I haven't really written anything since I came back from that most fantastic seminar. I needed to connect with the new me.

For all of you that know me, I didn't really date that often, or contrary to popular illusion, I didn't get much action either. My ex says that I have Pretty High School Girl Syndrome (PHSGS) - that everyone assumes that the Pretty High School Girl has a boyfriend or dates like crazy, but in all honesty, spends her Friday night doing her hair. I didn't know whether to be offended or not...but took it as a compliment nonetheless.

Well Chickadees, things have changed for me in a big way. I don't want to jinx anything, but my cup runneth over big time, and sleep has been as elusive as the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials.

Where to start...where to start...

Let's begin with the Australian Ex-Navy Officer. He's 6'5'' 235 lbs and very complimentary, and doesn't let me get much sleep...wink wink...he's a physical therapist, so you know Poppa (me) is going to work it to get a stellar massage.

Then there's the ASU Baseball player, frat boy, studying to be a doctor, who is absolutely a great guy...You can call me Mr. Robinson at this point... "Would you like me to seduce you? Is that what you're telling me?"

There is Charles, who owns his own business, and wants to take me out on a full fledged date. CRAZY...

Then there's Nick, who really liked my watch and wants to go out soon.

Lastly, there's James, a blast from the past, who came across my number again after moving and clearing out paperwork. He's in computer network implementation, and another tall one. 6'1'' 245 lbs, blond and essentially is an amatuer bodybuilder with a wild streak that makes me blush.

So I am blown away with the caliber of guys that I am meeting lately. Who knew that there were so many fantastic guys in Arizona.

When it rains it pours...but this particular post is about the Australian...

He came over one night, after we had gone out on a date...I might add...and one thing led to another. Okay, I admit it; I'm a sucker for compliments, especially when they are delivered with an Australian accent.

So there I was in a pair of low-rise levis, a tight little ringer, with an Aussie who wanted to rock my jock. How could I say no?

It was late on a Sunday evening and he invited himself to spend the night...Luckily, the accent worked or I would have turned his ass out, with that kind of presumption.

One thing led to another at about 11 PM, and now I know how a marathon runner feels...

So all is said and done, and it's about 2:30 AM, and I needed to get some sleep before I had to head out to work. Aussie tells me that he has to be out the door at 4:00 AM, because he had to pick up some mates from the airport. I should have kicked him out then...

Aussie liked to spoon, and he is a groomer, so he gets waxed frequently. The problem ensued when his waxer went out of town, and he wasn't able to take care of business. Needless to say, the man would pull me to him, and my back would have the lovely experience of being pushed into a cactus. His new growth would drive into my skin like a torturous overdose of acupuncture.

My back started itching, and I would awake, sweaty, with extreme annoyance and slide away. Only to be brought back into the land of pincushion. I couldn't sleep through it. I used every mind trick to overcome the prickly sensation, and would try to creep away, slyly again...Only to feel arms around me bringing me back... It was hell.

THEN, he would wake up and try to go at it again...What 4 times wasn't enough for you? Bastard, let me sleep...

Just I was going to say, "Get up, get dressed, and get the hell out!" My alarm clock went off, and he left after getting himself together.

I got two hours of sleep and went to work grumbling, yet satiated...

I have talked to him again, and went over my cacti issues, and he assured me that there would be no issue on our next date. EXCELLENT. He had me at, "G'day."

So more to come kids...

And remember, you're only a whore if you charge!

Holy Great Weekend Batman - or My New Life

Okay everyone...I didn't drink the Kool-Aid...No matter what you think about this next entry. I promise!

This weekend I went to a seminar. It was the best thing I have ever done for myself in my life. It was an absolutely amazing experience that grounded me, energized me, and gave me the sense of self that I have not had since I was a child.

Before you all get crazy... It is not a cult. The doors were open at all times, and anyone could leave. There was no request for donations. I paid for the seminar, and it had a money back guarantee. Now that all of this is out of the way, let me tell you how I've changed, and use this blog for a goal that I had set for myself.

The premise of the seminar is self growth, and from what had heard of it, the people would be out hugging trees at any moment. I was not impressed. I was a man of analytical, skeptical proportions. I had to see quantifiable, tangible proof, and I did.

I reunited with my ex's aunt one day, and remembering the person I knew, I was completely, utterly, and absolutely blown-away. The woman I now met was joyous, bouyant, powerful, and for lack of a better word at that time, glowing.

I asked my ex what happened...what did she do? He said that it was this seminar. There was my proof, so I went this weekend and experienced a life altering event. I am joyous. I am bouyant. I am powerful, and I am glowing.

So on to my goal... I want to share with everyone how much the people in my life have meant to me (in no particular order):

Elfie: Thank you for giving me the life that I now have. You are strong, loving, and giving. Thank you for passing that on to me and helping me through the tough times in my life.

Janet: Your joy and laughter have been a comfort that has helped me grow and added to my life in ways that you cannot comprehend. Thank you for making me the man that I am.

Shannon: Thank you for your love. Making me a part of your family and Uncle to your children shows a trust in me that I had forgotton I had. Thank you for believing in me and helping me to find that trust in familial love again.

Christine: Your humor has taught me that life is serious enough to dwell on. We all need to laugh and move away from negative. Thank you for helping my humor and teaching me that.

Billy: Your confidence and love for me is something I always took for granted, because I believed that you were required to have those feelings for me. Thank you for teaching me that I deserve that love and that I am a wonderful person.

Steve: Your unconditional love is a cornerstone in my life. You have made me grow without my realization. Your constant, stable, loving friendship has opened another door of trust for me. I will always be grateful.

Christy: Thank you for your emotional honesty. You have always been down on yourself for crying at the drop of a hat. Please never stop. You have taught me that being emotional is great, that being in touch with my emotions is freeing, no matter how much it seems to hurt at the time. Thank you for being a stunning example of how to truly feel.

Shelley: Your creativity and talent are intense. Thank you for teaching me that I can do anything I want to. You are a living truth in bravery, and are a joy in my life.

Sondra: Honesty. One word describing what you've given me. I had been hiding for so long in thinking that I was honest. Thank you for showing me what honesty is in all facets of life. You are a great teacher.

Polly: Thank you for your sense of balance. You have a great blend of humor, professionalism, joy, and party girl. I have learned what balance is from your energy. Thank you for being in my life, and so incredible that I met a friend for life at the seminar. I instantly cliqued with her because she had your energy.

Randy: This is a strong thank you! When I was younger, I always had a great time being the true me, anywhere I went. You have brought that out in me. I am so grateful, and know that I'm right on when you say that I need a therapist. My job is done when your stomach hurts from laughter. Thank you for being you and sharing that energy with me.

Erin: Your loyalty and comraderie is incredible. Thank you for showing that quick connections can last a lifetime.

Kim: You came into my life just when I needed to be brought out of my shell. Thank you for showing that first moves can bring a friend into one's life forever. I love you, and met someone amazing by taking a first step through your example.

Jason: Empathy is so strong in you. You have taught me that listening is more important than hearing. Thank you for opening my mind and ears.

Mark: You have shown me commitment through the example of your life. Thank you for showing me success in relationships and career. You are a mentor to me and I don't think you know that. Thank you, my teacher.

Lisa: Thank you for being a giver. You give without a thought or consequence, which equals unconditional love. You are one of the keystones of the universe. I love you.

Mel: Your intuition is something you follow. It is real and tangible and valid. Thank you for that reminder. My inner self thanks you too.

Frank: Thank you for your smile, because it shows how easy-going you truly are. You have taught me that being friendly to someone you don't know is a risk, but becomes easier each time you open yourself up to it. Thank you for making me remember being a kindergardner on his first day of school.

Carol: You're a dynamo! You are giving without even knowing it, through the energy you project. Thank you for your strength. I have learned so much about positivity and acceptance from you.

I could keep going on for days about how all of you have affected me in positive ways. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

You are the teachers in my life, which thanks to the seminar I went to, has truly started again.

Each one of you is fantastic in countless ways. I cannot wait to talk to you and see each one of you to tell you personally how much you mean to me and my life, and because of your influence I will be a success!

All my love.

Endangered Animals or War, HUH, Good God Y'all...

As I was reading the news about Bush and the war in Iraq, I realized that the American public is susceptible to savvy marketing and promises from those in power. I thought to myself, “How can people believe this guy. He should be in jail for starting a war that would benefit his cronies as Iraq is ‘stabilized.’”

This brings me to a campaign that I started in high school. It was to save an endangered species in China, which was being mercilessly slaughtered for its hide. This animal was on the verge of extinction, and I was a one-man animal rights activist for this aquatic animal.

The animal was the elusive Naga…and it was completely fictitious, although China imported many Nagahyde products to the USA.

It took awhile for the idea to catch on, although my pandering for the rights of the Chinese Naga included a poster (of a manatee like creature with a steer's head – down to the horns) and examples of Nagahyde products.

It was surprising how easy it was to convince my classmates of the dire straits of this victimized creature, and I would rattle of facts as fast as they would ask me for information.

Before I knew it I had over 100 signatures supporting rights of the Naga. It was exciting, and incredibly sad that I had conned some of the brightest people I had ever met into believing that the Emperor’s new clothes could be seen.

Reading the news today…I realize that as a populous, Americans have been frightened, shocked, and questioned about their patriotism to believe in Nagas to help fiscally benefit those who will and have been awarded contracts to rebuild Iraq.

Let me be clear:

I support every soldier that has suffered through this war. They have done their duty to the fullest. I believe in the courage of these soldiers to make America a safer place.

I do not support this war that still rages, keeping people away from their families and increasing the deficit at an alarming rate, not to mention the death toll. “We” were after Osama, and got lost in the media blitz about WMDs and Saddam’s “plans” to attack the USA.

So when all is said and done, and those in power now get fatter and fatter on the revenue they stand to gain…I won’t say that I told you so…but I told you so.

Don’t believe in Nagas kids, not until you’ve done research to see if they actually exist.