Designed to be a Stressful Life

Today I am wiggin out. I'm all "bajigaddy" from the news I received last night.

We had just kicked ass and took names from our dart games against the lesbians at the rival bar, when I found out that Project Runway is airing another season. As I had already applied for updates on casting for the show, I think I doodied my low-rise, straight-leg jeans. I was not ready to try out for the show...

Since I was a wee gay lad, I think that I've always wanted to be a fashion designer. All of my experiences in life have led me to this path, of starting my own business in the clothing industry. It is a burning desire and need for me to fulfill.

There are a few things that you need to know...

I hate sewing...HATE IT...When I took a class on apparel construction in college, I had to drop it for very basic reasons.

I almost sewed one of my fingers on the industrial Singer, and if you look close on the underside of my right forearm, you can still see the burn from my run in with the iron (I, of course, lost). I was a walking disaster in the sewing room.

Since that time, I have my own machine (shut up, I still smoke camels, beat straight guys at playstation, and love anime). I am able to sew basic garments, but there would be no way for me to be on the show with my skill set now.

But...I....Must...Be...On...That show... I love it so much, and it would be a terrific jumping point for the field that I want to devote my life. So with a twisted up stomach, I have decided to do the only thing a man in my situation can do...

Fly to China, kidnap a tailor, and torture her with Ashlee Simpson music until she teaches me everything she knows.

Sound good?

deutschmarc