Wipe Your Face

Okay, if you read yesterday's "haps" you know how famously late I am every morning (no exception this morning--didn't even have time to get my breakfast).

I have to bring up something that happened weeks ago.

I had taken a shower the night before work, laid out my clothes, because I played darts, and knew that there would be no way my hungover ass would have been able to pick out anything.

I, in typical deutschmarc manner, awoke late (are you shocked?). I jumped into the clothes and threw some listerine strips in my mouth as I ran out the door.

I get to my regular convenience store (the gals give me packs of smokes and cashback without even thinking anymore) and enter. I notice people are staring at me...whatever, they can tell I'm still a little typsy and hungover.

I pay for my stuff. The gals are staring at me wide-eyed (no cash back today, out the door in a flash). I dash to my car thinking, "What the hell...I can't look that bad."

I get in my car and look in the rear view mirror--------FUCKIN SURPRISE!

I had the whitest, crustiest, drool trail from the corner of mouth to the bottom part of my chin. I tried to scratch it off, but there was just no chipping it away. It had to have been an all-night drool "stalactite". Each gooo-ey drop of drool must have hardened into a super glue, snail trail down my face.

I even tried the grandma wash, using more spit to try to get it off. It just made it slimy...

I finally got rid of it by using some day-old water from a bottle that was in the car, along with the inside part of my shirt. it must have taken 5 minutes, which I may add, made me even more late...GREAT.

I take another look in the mirror as I was stopped at Palm Lane (DAMN THAT PALM LANE- I know it made me drool). Then, of course, I had a big red smear from scraping off diamond hard saliva (Nice).

I sighed as I drove into my parking place at work, and swear that I'll always take a quick look in the mirror before rushing out the door.

May you never have a drool trail in public.

deutschmarc