He's not Nelly; He's my brother...sort of

I guess it's always been weird being the black sheep of the family (or 1 and 1/4 black sheep if you count being gay as a strike against you), but LITERALLY, I am the only person in my family with a little "fla-vah" if you so want to deem it.

So, growing up with a german mother and older 1/2 brother, who took sadism to a level that the Marquis de Sade would've given him a little pat on the back and a light chuck under the chin, probably drove me to person that I've become.

Other than being a little "spicy" as my friends like to say, I think that I'm a pretty well adjusted person. Of course my friend "Robbie" (to protect his anonymity) constantly asks me if I am taking any meds or seeing a shrink. I do not know where he could ever get such an idea...

Maybe it was from the other day when he came over to our place (My roommate's really-we'll call him "Seth"). Seth was getting ready in the bathroom...take's him at least 35 mins (I've timed him), although Seth constantly states that he can get ready in 15 mins....Yeah right. Anyway, so Robbie comes over, and says that he has to use the bathroom (Okay "Take a piss"), but Seth is in the bathroom getting ready.

I, in my twisted brilliance, turn to him and say, "Pow Pow, Chick-a-pay gotta pay like a tay inna weeeeEEEEnn."

Now I realize that you won't get the full affect from reading it, but Robbie turned to me and started laughing, saying, "Chick-a-pay blowiiiiin like a tay inna weeeeeeeeeeeeeEeEEn." Then he says that he can't believe that I saw the movie Nell (Starring Jodie Foster); if you don't know about the movie, research the story really quick in another browser.

Robbie and I immediately start having a conversation in Nell speak, understanding each other fluently through laugher reminiscent of 2 teenage girls at a slumber party. Meanwhile, Seth comes out of the bathroom and looks at us like we just stepped out of the short bus, asking us what the f#uc we're speaking. He has never seen the movie, so he was out of the loop for the rest of the night. What this means, is that the "Nellspeak" continued for Robbie and me for the remainder of the evening.

Fast forward to the bar, which has drink specials until 9:00 PM (75 cent well and bottled beer). We arrive around 8:30, so our "rock-tailing" (partying like a rockstar while cocktailing) has to be done cliff's notes style. The bartenders, who know us as the "trio of terror", know that we double up or each of us orders a round at once...HEY, you really can't pass up $2.25 for 3 cocktails...

By 9:00 we are officially cocktailed and ready to play, of course, Robbie and I are speaking "Nellanese" all during this 30 minutes. Robbie, a Coors Light drinker (I know, what self respecting gay man drinks Coors Light...but we were at a country gay bar--don't get me started on this one), so I would ask him, "Wabbie wanna nutta kor lye?" He would reply, "Ya Wabbie wanna kor lye," and everyone in our immediate vacinity would look at us like we were crazy.

Mind you, all of us were in the mood to "get a little action" that evening, and Robbie and I were shooting ourselves in the foot with our "Nelly" conversations (couldn't resist...sorry). So we really didn't get any action for the evening...

Long story short....Don't act like you have a twin that died, who spoke a special language with you, if you're looking to score.